What Men Think About
by Amai Youkaiko
Summary: Nogi Hotaru's released it, the book that'll change the world; 'What Men Think About Besides the Obvious '. Some sexual references.


**This is a sequel to 'I Just Do Not Get Women' however it does stand on it's own. Dedicated to Jam Rosales.**

* * *

You turn on the television and clomp onto the couch with a box of your favourite sweets; "halowans!" you yell as you tear the box open.

You prepare to watch your all time favourite show knowing that your ever critical husband will be at work til ten and your children are either at school or at the Nogi's. Takahada Ai smiles and waves to her growing audience, "hello everyone, do we have a treat for you. In fact this is such an awaited interview that we decided to keep it as a last minute surprise; Nogi Hotaru, come out please".

You drop your box of halowans and stare at the screen with shock but inside your mind is screaming, 'Hotaru' you slur the word, 'why didn't you tell me you were going on the 'Ai Show of Random Awesomeness'?'

"Hello" Your best friend says as she sits down on that fluffy red chair.

Ai smiles and you can't help but wish that you were there with Hotaru, "Nogi Hotaru is not only the founder of Imai Inventions; the most highly acclaimed Technology Company in the world but she has also written the book that'll change the world forever; 'What Men Think About (Besides the Obvious)'".

There is a pregnant silence and you wonder if Hotaru will realise that Ai is waiting for her to speak but Hotaru only sits there and you feel like abusing your head on the wall. You pick up your sweets and start nibbling on them nervously, silently cheering your forever solemn childhood friend. "What gave you the idea for this book?" Ai encourages after several excruciating minutes.

"There is a woman named Hyuuga Mikan, who is my best friend" Hotaru says and you grin as she mentions your name, "she asked for an invention which would allow her to read the mind of her husband but during the testing I discovered that the mind of a one man is no different to the next". It's the most you've ever seen Hotaru say, well except when she's promoting an invention.

"And how much do you plan on selling it for?" You know straight away that it'll be out of the average cost-bracket for books. You munch on a holawon as you wait for the words you know she's going to say.

"Approximately twenty thousand and four hundred yen" the woman answers sounding bored.

You nod, "I knew it". You laugh as you realise you had spoken aloud. You turn back to the television so you can see Ai's reaction.

The host's jaw had dropped to the floor in the mere second that you'd looked away, "why is it so expensive?"

"It is what I'd pay for this book after all it's a question women have asked for years" Hotaru lies smoothly.

'You liar' you think as you exit the room for a drink of pop. 'You'd never spend a yen on another person's product" you think for a moment before laughing, 'hell, you wouldn't even pay for something you made'.

You swig at the bottle, knowing you look like a pig. 'Fatty' you hear your husband say in your head. You ignore it; Natsume never means what he says.

You think about this book. It all started because you made that stupid promise to never use your alices against Natsume. Usually, Koko would have helped you mind-read but he was far too scared of your husband for that, after all middle-school had been a hard time for him.

Therefore you set out in seek of Hotaru's work. You knew you could never afford it; Hotaru never mixed business and personal. Hell, she even had a 'no dating co workers' code that everyone needed to abide by. So you asked for it for every birthday present and Christmas present til you turn seventy-nine.

Not that she's going to follow through with that now she has her book. As far as you know the book as an exact five-hundred pages however you only got to read the first. A privilege she gave you because you gave her the idea.

If you remember correctly it said:

_Dear Reader,  
If you are reading this then I presume that you are having that one question that has bugged even I, 'What is that man thinking?'_

_Of course, women aren't totally dumb we've worked out some of the things, which is why it is called 'What Men Think About (Besides the Obvious)' I won't mention the following: cars, sports, the girl next door who only wears a bra and thong to work and the other obvious thing._

_I wish you the best with this book, enjoy._

_Yours sincerely,  
Nogi Hotaru_

_P.S. This book is non-refundable. Sharing, lending or pirating this book is against the copyright acts of the following regions: Asia, Oceania, Europe, Africa, Antarctica, North America and South America. Any offenders of these acts shall be prosecuted in court and sued for any money they may own and may gain in the foreseeable and unforeseeable future._

You laughed as you thought about how Hotaru that sounded. You laugh now as you realise how right you were.

You finish the rest of your halowan's as you settle for a nap. You embrace the darkness of rest quickly and revel in its peace.

It's the day, the day everyone's been waiting for; the release of Hotaru's book. You know she's sent one to you in the mail. She told you so herself so you wait.

Natsume's particularly anxious. He's worried what you'll read, no doubt. You smile as you see the postman knock on the door. You walk over, wobbly from the excess bulge from your stomach. "Hi" you greet him as you hold out your hand.

He looks at your stomach for a second and smirks, "you look like you're about to pop".

"Ninth month; could be any day now". You reply used to this. You've been this big since your fourth month just like you was for your last two pregnancies.

"My wife too" he holds out a folder, "just sign here". You do, ready to see the rest she's written, hoping it'll be something to laugh at.

He leaves and you close the door before landing on the couch feeling it sink due to the weight. You open up the book and flip though it, laughing harder than you had for months.

It was completely and utterly blank.


End file.
